Relational trauma, a trauma that many of us have never heard of. However, it may relate to if you had a stranied relationship with your primary caregiver or felt abandoned or unloved. At times, relational trauma has been misdiagnosed as PTSD. PTSD occurs when a person witnesses a traumatic event like war, death or a serious accident. PTSD can be easier to diagnose as many therapists are trained in recognizing PTSD. Relational trauma occurs in childhood when a primary caregiver abuses the child over a period of time. A caregiver can be a parent, nanny, grandparent or even a boarding school guardian. What occurs is that a child's life and bond are disrupted by events. This can be when a parent...

Welcome February 2023. At Towler Counseling, if you have been following us for January, we discuss setting and sticking with goals. February, I thought I would blog about setting goals for ourself and how to love ourselves even when we don’t meet theses goals. I have heard many of times “that’s easier said than done”. I get it. I have said theses words. I have been mad myself for not making a goal when I felt I should have. How can I give myself grace? How can I be okay with maybe not meeting a goal or keep pushing until I meet the goal. I ask clients, how do you show grace to others? Once you can explore and answer this question then apply it to yourself. Goals can ...

New year and new you. We hear this a lot at the end of December to mid January, then the sayings seem to disappear or the new year goals seem to fall to the waste side. I am a licensed professional counselor and I also find this about me. We are all guilty of starting goals but not seeing them through. I am here to say, yes goal setting is hard but it doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve and see theses goal through. The best way to look goals is to set a goal and begin to break down the goal. For examples, I want to journal more this year. How can a person make this happen? If you want to journal more, then set aside time. To be successful in goals, moving forward we need to make ...

I have been seeing clients for 18 years and one of the number one reasons for therapy is that many have no idea how to take care and show emotions. For decades, instead of teaching children how to express emotions we were taught to be seen and not heard. That our feelings didn’t matter. What a pleasant shock when I learned in college that feelings did matter. Life changing. Children now are being taught emotions, how to express feelings and how
To communicate what is one their minds. As a therapist, I am so happy to see when my child brings in worksheet about emotions. He at such a young age was taught about expression of emotions and how to regulate his emotions when he’s angry o...

Mountains are beautiful and can be a reminder of what we have been through. Sometimes we feel like we are on that mountain climbing trying to make it to the top. We can feel overwhelmed and stressed due to life, things not in our control, sickness, and mental health issues. I had the pleasure of taking a trip a few weeks ago to Montana. Once I stepped off the plane, all you could see were mountains. Amazing and calming is how I would describe Montana and the Rocky Mountains. I now see why so many people are moving to Montana. My husband and I were there for our ten year anniversary. No kids and no agenda was what we both needed for this trip. As I was there, I was able to be in nature and do...

We are entering fall and soon all of the holidays all which can be draining. Have you been feeling overwhelmed or feeling you aren’t connected to things around you or yourself. As a whole, we seem to let everyone and everything around us consumes and takes our time. We can feel disconnected with ourselves through moments in our life or even daily we can feel like this. When we are feeling disconnected from ourselves it can feel like we are just going throgh the motions. We can feel like we are there but no present. Many times it can be easy to reconnect and other times we need to seek mental health professional. Here are five ways to connected in life.

Facing the Challenges of College

During this time of the year, many individuals and many families are preparing for a major milestone – going to college! Traditionally, high schoolers are eager to step into a new season of independence. Adults who are returning to college, also known as nontraditional students, may experience some nervousness due to uncertainty. College is a major life decision for anyone, regardless of age or student status.

Plan Ahead

Once you’ve received those acceptance letters, and you’ve made the decision on where you’re going, it is immediately time to prepare! Individuals may feel inclined to share this news with loved ones, especially if you&r...

Mindfulness is a state of awareness and being in the current state of present. Mindfulness is basically aware of what is happening now. Incorporating mindfulness has shown to help decrease anxiety and depression. I have learned to add mindfulness into my life by adding theses four basic steps.

1. Set time aside for you to be present and aware. Which means putting phones down and electronics.


2. Put the same time each day on your schedule and commit. Don’t change the time for a month.


3. Tell someone you will be adding mindfulness in your life to have someone to hold you accountable.


4. Decide where you will be practicing mindfulness and make sure it is a place with no distractions.

Towler counseling...

Vaping Epidemic in Youth and Young Adults

What is vaping?

Vaping is a form of nontraditional smoking, it involves inhaling aerosol from a battery powered device. There are a variety of branded devices that fall under the category of vapes, such as e-cigarettes, mods, tanks, pens and pods. Some popular brands that you may see are Juul, Suorin and Vuse. Vapes operate by heating liquid substances (e.g., nicotine, marijuana) and producing vapor in lieu of smoke. Since this electronic smoking form produces a vapor, it can very easily go undetected by bystanders and fire detectors. Despite using a different form of substances and not using fire, vaping does produce serious mind and body altering ef...